


You Are Still Needed

by GalacticHalfling



Series: Legends of Llelwyn [3]
Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
Genre: Post main quest, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 06:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16718103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalacticHalfling/pseuds/GalacticHalfling
Summary: All prophecies fullfilled. Bitter revenge taken. What is there left for someone who was betrayed by all and failed the one who stayed true to him? Or: The Nerevarine has a dark moment and is talked out of it by someone unexpected.





	You Are Still Needed

He had done what he had come for. He had walked the way up to the crater once more to finally get rid of those cursed tools. Even with the heart of Lorkhan destroyed it was safer if no one would ever get their hands on them again. So he had flung them into the depths of boiling lava without much ceremony and they had simply sunk under. Madseth had half expected that something grand maybe even catastrophic would happen, but it hadn't. Kagrenac should never have built them and now they were gone. Madseth had hoped to maybe feel relieved but instead he felt a sense of loss - not because they were powerful artifacts but because with throwing them away it was as if he had thrown away the last reminder of his purpose. The only reason he had been born into this life had been, to fulfill the prophecy. Seeing these tools fall into the lava drove home the realization that he had done all that he had been destined to do. It shouldn't have mattered, the possibilities what he could do now that he was free of fate were endless, yet instead of freeing it felt devastating.

All this life - for centuries - he had wandered through Tamriel seeking a place and a purpose without understanding why he even felt the need. Then he had come to Morrowind - the place of his birth (most likely) that he had always avoided because he had not wished to live as a stranger in a land that should have been his home - he had found out about the prophecy and in it he had finally found the answer to his search - as if destiny had been calling to him for all his life.

He wasn't quite sure when he had started remembering, flashes of memory, short and fleeting at first but getting more coherent with time, he thought it might have been after the Cave of the Incarnate. Now he sometimes didn't know anymore whether he was Madseth or Nerevar - a mer who had never found a place to belong and who's only purpose was in fulfilling the destiny of his first life, or a mer who had dedicated his entire life to the greater cause of his people only to be betrayed by every trusted friend he had - and who had (albeit unwittingly) sent the only one who did not betray him to a fate worse than death. Neither of those gave him much to look forward to. He had saved Morrowind and all of Tamriel from the madness of Dagoth Ur and he had avenged himself. What else was there for him left to do?

Madseth suddenly realized that over his musings he hadn't moved away from the crater at all. In fact he stood so close to the edge that the tips of his boots hung in the air. The molten rock underneath swirled in hypnotizing patterns of yellow and orange and even so high above the lava the heat was almost unbearable.

What difference would one step forward make...? For him as a Dunmer it probably wouldn't be a quick death, but it would be a fitting one, here, at Red Mountain, were all the turning points of his fate transpired. And it would be so easy... Ever so slowly he lifted one foot. So simple...

"Are you truly giving up, Nerevar?" Madseth spun around so quickly that he would have fallen over the edge by accident if not for the grip of a spectral, long-fingered hand on his shoulder. Those fingers burned with the cold of the void itself - as the dead and the living weren't really meant to touch - but Madseth was hardly in the right state of mind to notice. "I would have expected better of you. Now that I am dead by your hand and the false gods have been cast down, who else should lead Resdaynia but you? Or would you rather betray her and leave her in her hour of need to be chained and robbed by her enemies?"

Madseth just stared at the spirit in shock. To see _him_ again... it raised a mix of dread, regret and hope that Madseth didn't know how to deal with. The spectral figure looked almost exactly like the mer Nerevar had known all this millennia ago, not like the mad god he had encountered only months prior to this meeting. Whether this meant something or not, he wasn't sure. After a very long moment Madseth finally took notice of what his former friend had actually said and cringed. Was that what he was doing? Running away from duty? His first urge was to deny this. But he realized that in a way it _was_ true. He had done so much and gained so little. Why had it always to be him? "There are so many people with ambitions of great power. They can learn to save themselves", even while saying it Madseth knew that he did not really mean it. His resentment was real, but already he felt ashamed of himself for even thinking of abandoning so many people to their fate. It simply wasn't who he was - nor who he wanted to be.

"And so your first act of rebellion in two lifetimes is to kill yourself. What a waste." The disparaging tone stung, but while the earlier words had made him feel guilty these raised his anger. He made a step towards the spirit, raising a hand as if to strike him. "Did you just return from the Beyond to mock me?"

Dagoth Ur - or Voryn, whichever name applied - unsurprisingly didn't seem fazed at all. He merely raised one ghostly eyebrow. "You know me better than that, Nerevar." Then he was gone. Madseth blinked, his rage momentarily forgotten, replaced by disorientation tanged with a hint of loss.

"Find someone to stand by your side. You never did well all on your own", a voice whispered in his ear. Again Madseth whirled around but there was no one - only the steaming crater of Red Mountain. Staring at it he was suddenly filled with horror: Had he really just almost jumped down there? He turned abruptly and hurried away from the edge, afraid to be overcome by the desire again.

While he walked briskly down the slope of the mountain he wondered about his meeting at the edge of the crater. Had it really happened, or had it been a figment of his imagination? The whole scene up there seemed more and more surreal to him the farther he moved away. He honestly didn't know which thought was more disturbing: That Dagoth Ur might take to haunting him or that he was starting to hallucinate. Still, whatever it had been, this time at least he should be thankful - the echo of his former friend _had_ saved Madseth from himself after all. He wasn't sure what that said about his sanity and was determined not to find out. Not while he could find other things to keep his mind away from those thoughts.

Even if those things were duties he loved and hated with equal force.  
_He speaks the law for Veloth's people._  
There were unjust taxes, mining concessions unfairly granted to Imperials and a cruel king who cared nothing for Morrowind.  
_He speaks for their land, and names them great._  
Had he so easily forgotten? It was true: he was still needed.

**Author's Note:**

> First posted at FF.net. I'm not quite happy with the ending. But after numerous tries I gave up at changing it and posted it any way. So if anyone has constructive critism feel welcome to voice it. Also if there are any language mistakes please tell me so I can get better.


End file.
